dear Mr. President

I read some blog post of a letter to the president and I was touched. It triggered me to write my own letter to the president.

So here I go.

Dear Mr. President,

Receive my greetings from Kisii county. For your information this county is in Nyanza province (near Kisumu city). The people of Kisii are doing great with all the immense rains they are experiencing. It is so depressing that other areas in the republic of Kenya do not experience such showers of blessings. My metalwork teacher in high school used to joke that God’s bathroom is situated above Kisii highlands. Though the rains are essential, our roads are not happy about them. They turn to shambas all the time it rains... you know most of the roads over here have never been serviced with marrum.

I usually watch news and I get very intriguing stories. Some of them are about you. Others are really hard to understand. There is this story about father Kizito. This dude sodomised men and little boys (a number of them went ahead to confess in front of the camera), hospital results confirmed that the act was done. He was arrested, taken to court then something fishy happened after that. He was whisked away then later released. You know Mr. President if I went to solicit for answers, I would not get them. I feel the most powerful person in the land can get the answers effortlessly. You are that person. This country has been subjected to sinister events that the citizenry crave to get enlightened on them; the police are the main culprits. Since you are the commander in chief please do something. Some other Kenyans had their brains blown away by a Kenyan army grenade while playing near their homes. It seems the army is so busy getting negligent that they even do not notice Ethiopians killing Kenyans along the border.

The TV also shows pictures of people living in tents. Your ministers and the VP have been making pledges to resettle these people over the years. The work being done is not sufficient. Otherwise nobody would be whining. My dad says most of these people are pretenders who want free land; I believe your government has machinery to iron out this confusion. You remember these people became IDPs most probably because they voted for you in 2007. They are counting on you sir. There is no excuse that you have insufficient funds because we know that the prime minister spends ksh 600,000 a night while overseas (excluding cost of staff and other kith n kin). Talking of 2007 and elections, my area MP is never at home. He usually gives the excuse that he is busy in Nairobi. It is bizarre because you have not given him a ministerial position. I have never seen him on KBC during parliamentary proceedings. Kwani what else do you tell MPs to do in Nairobi? When you see him please tell him to come home.

Mr. President, I have just completed my schooling and am looking for a job. The government pledged to create jobs to the citizens. It is yet to create one for me. Employment to government jobs are full of nepotism. Am very unlucky because I do not have some relative to help me out. May be you would help me??

Please do something about the fuel prices. As one of the brightest economists Kenya has ever produced you understand the implications of this (is it true that you were the top candidate in the back-in-the-day equivalent of KCSE??). I won’t start on how high the prices of commodities have risen to. Matatus (these are public service vehicles) are now charging exorbitant fares. The normal Kenyan is getting the whole weight of these costs. Being the economist you are, I hope you will work the magic. I hear some government officials have a stake in these oil companies and that’s why nobody is eager to pressure them to moderate the prices.

Mr. President, I am a huge Manchester united fan. I know you are a golf fan (sorry about tiger woods). When I am not supporting man utd, I do support SOFAPAKA (a Kenyan team) and the Kenya national soccer team. The state of the Kenyan football is worsening. How I wish you would swing that golf club towards FKL and KPL leaders. Hit em hard. They are making it hard for me to enjoy Kenyan football.

When your friend M7 came to Kenya, he gave several interviews to members of the media. We would appreciate you giving an interview once in a while. Try it with Julie Gichuru. She is not intimidating, nor is she commanding. Her smile will make you at home..er at state house throughout the interview. Or you can just make an appearance at one of the Churchill live episodes. 

Finally, best of wishes as you wind up the last lap in that office. Make it count.

Signed

Natb.

Boom box playlist:

Kikao cha dharula (sio mzee) – professor J.