Monday 13 June 2011

A letter to my 17 year old self.


Dear Natb
Hey there, it’s me, you know, from the future. I know you are probably busy with something, like studying for your KCSE exams but just hear me out first. I know dad is saying he won’t be having cash to take you for a para course in campo. Probably he is not lying; I never got to know it. You will pass; in fact you will surprise everybody back in the village. Just keep doing what you are doing and you will make it.
Having said that, I know I have scrubbed off one of your greatest qualms. Yeah, I know there are other worries. You can’t imagine how things will turn out. Remember how you hate accounting? You will spend the better part of the next seven years crunching debits and credits. In fact you will be among the best that is. It will wake you up at 4 to undress and do bad things to it.
You have a beard. Yes a beard. Kwani what do you expect, to maintain that baby face forever? If you want to see how I look, take a look at Harun Mwau (hehe). At the moment you are in love and a virgin at the same time. That is the most sought after combinations nowadays which is extinct (I know I have lost you, ha). I wish you could write me explaining what love is. I can’t seem to remember it. Say a big HI to her. I know she still writes those letters. Damn. Enjoy the ‘love’ while it lasts. On the part of being a virgin…hehe. Am not going to blot it for you. I will not disclose to you whether (or how)you’ve lost it. But I will give you a clue; it is easier to catch Amos Wako frowning than to find a virgin.
Natb, great times lie ahead. You might not be serious about that natb name. You better be. That name is in everybody’s lips right now. I have a multinational business under that name. Ok, am messing with you. Am not yet 24, what did you expect? Right now I am an unemployed Kenyan youth. It’s your turn to laugh. However I will not rest till I take that name to the highest heights even if it means jumping from a balcony headfirst while drunk with a fat bank account with three wives and a panga wielding mom. That is what people do these days. Don’t fret, I won’t do that, I do not drink (yet), does not have three wives and mom will never hound people with a panga.
I know I have not told you much. That is because you are still under 18 and I was supposed to write a letter to my 50 year old self. That would be more useful than this. However you can use some advice. Stay away from women, develop a habit of more reading and less movies, be more active in church, avoid those things mom n dad tell you to avoid. With that, 21st may 2011 would be of more significance. Before I forget, please work on you self confidence and social skills while you are at that age. These are the things causing me problems.
Something called facebook will come along and sweep you into some virtual world. When I said avoid women, those found here should be avoided too. Nothing good comes out of MKZ relationships. Let me end it right here. See you when you get here.

                                                                                                          Signed
                                                                                                          23 year old self
Boom box playlist:
Panic at the Disco- The Ballad of Mona Lisa

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