This n That II

Yesterday I felt like I should write a new blog post, so I opened word. Stares. Blink. I had nothing to write. I rather enjoyed watching that ka-nini (I don’t know its name) blink. It’s like it was laughing at me. Loser. I hurriedly closed that window and browsed over my “muviz” folder for something to watch. I had to watch ‘The Bank Job’ again. If you love a bri_ish accent (n women with minimal or no apparel) like yours truly, you can never get weary of watching this movie. My finest jiffy is when some old guy is so furious at some lady and yells at her: …’you conniving c***’ hehehe. Complete with the profound accent. Sigh. That accent is going to slay me one day. The day some lass (exquisite or otherwise) benevolently steps in front of me and articulates to me something pleasant in that inflection…I will bloody go woozy. *that is a br,sh talk rai thea*

By now you know I got nadda remarkable to write about. I just wanted to use my lil shamba to tell the human race, and aliens if they have internets, how oblivious I am in coming up with something to write about. Being an unemployed Kenyan youth, I usually report to my workplace (couch) every day and unwind with my companion – tedium. My dad called me and proposed that I look for kibarua ‘kubeba vitu kwa duka la mhindi’. Of course he was joking but for a moment I imagined what if he was serious. The first scary thought that came into my mind was wondering how the mhindi could pronounce my name. I think I would have to change my name to Manmit (damn I miss ‘outsourced’). I then wondered whether the boss would be the same size as the fatty bag of fat in TPF all stars super fans corner sharing a bottle of tusker with Joey. Taking orders from a fat Indian is not that amusing. Speaking of TPF, there is this advert I saw of Safari park (I think) where some Chinese/Korean/Japanese/any other small eye country was getting VIP treatment. She was supposed to be some big shot business lady in town? No no, wrong choice. I thought she looked more of one of the massage girls who had arrived late to work n was given a lift in a limo.

Some day I was watching the beat at ntv and they were showing a clip from BET awards where Chris Brown was performing with buster rhymes some song. So these guys censored some word as buster was rapping with his trademark 1 million words per second. I don’t think it was obligatory. NTV were taking it too far. You see, most of us were brought up just knowing rumours about a language called English. That is loosely translated to, we cannot get those words spoken that fast. Nway, that was not my beef. The same night I was watching ‘private practice’ at the same channel. At some point some lady was like…I s*bleep* with him. Again after another sentence,…I told you I s*bleep* with him.

So NTV was censoring the word slept. They did not want us to know she slept with him or did not want us to follow cue and go sleep with him/her. Or something like that.

I had promised myself not to write a swear word on this blog in full, but that instance made me change my mind. *capital letters denotes shouting, OJ style*

NTV, WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

Sigh. I now feel so good. I think I should start a WTF corner where I bellow at whoever pisses me or my shiny, royal balls.

Boom box playlist:

Forgive Me – Group 1 Crew