Happy non-bathday for me..

It almost slipped out of my mind like it has been happening most of the times. Yesterday marked the day I was born some 24 years ago. I have never been a big fan of birthdays; probably it’s because of where I was brought up. Another reason might be because of the rituals surrounding birthdays. To many, a birthday is an opportunity for your friends to throw dirt on you, literally. That point is mitigated by the fact that the dirt will be disguised in mostly water, uji, duster, juice and initially dirty water. I have never understood the reasons behind that. Maybe one looks like a dustbin when transitioning for one age to the next. To cap it all, you will be expected to hold a bash (or a similar event that require your pockets to be emptied) for the dirt-fiers after the dirt-fest. Why would I pay/reward/award you for smearing me with dirt?

 In a parallel universe where I am a well respected pimp, my subjects organize a surprise party for me on December 11th every year at different sandy beaches. Those women who like climbing poles, nekkid are always present *looks away*. The only water you encounter is when you jump into a swimming pool, in slow motion. The only dirt you encounter is subsumed in the thoughts of the things you will be contemplating to do to the twin sisters after the party. I hear this time the event was graced by a special guest appearance from Nikki Benz whom I happen to share a birthday with.

It is so sad that I am stuck in this universe with my muddy, dirty minded friends (pun). One way or the other I have always managed to evade the annual bathday, almost. This is mostly because it is on December and, well it slips out of most people’s minds. Mine too. We never celebrate birthdays at home. MKZ really made people to start noticing it. I really hated wishing strangers a happy birthday.

My fascinating run of non-bathday birthday ended this year. In February. You can imagine the agony I went through when a bunch of miscreants, led by the chief demagogue @Funk6 decided to transfer my birthday from December 11^th to February 11^th. Nkt. I am yet to recover from that.

All that agony came flooding back the moment I received a text in the course of the week from the same same Funk , booking an appointment for a washing session. It can never get any more unfair. Dude am not your clothes. There will reach a time when I will have to say enough is enough and publish the damning information in this blog, specifically about you Funk. I know am not in the clear about this whole washing situation but it would be appropriate at this point to state that my place has not been having water for the better part of the week.

During birthdays people are expected to reflect on the past and look forward to a better future. This is the same thing that I’m going to do. I look forward to a year worth living. The year in which I will finally break down all the walls that protect the route to exploiting my full potential. A year in which I will grow the eagle wings to propel me to greater heights. The year in which I will finally say goodbye to…..nah. I will rather stop at that. I got carried away and turned it into a sermon. I’m lying; probably the only thing that will change for me is the number of years. I will be the same guy with the same flaws and the same determination to make the best out of them.

A big shout out to the family and friends of NATB who have seen him through all these years. NATB loves y’all.

Boom box Playlist:

A star is born – Jay Z ft J Cole.