I was super tired. This is one of
those afternoons where everybody has switched off. The office is very hot and
everybody seems to have finally managed to enter the ‘who ate the most food at
lunch contest’. I overate too. Fucking restaurant. Who told them to make Pilau
to be that sweet. The AC is doing little to help things out. You can’t blame
it. It’s the coast after all. My COG is at the stomach.
I was super tired. That’s why I
opened a word document to write something. The state of my mind is unmistakably
depicted by the emptiness of this document. I remember the first time I saw a
word document. It was back in 2003. I was in form 2. Insert an excessively
hungry image ogling at a CRT. Tumetoka mbali. Just like my classmates, we detested
the computer classes. We scored very scantily and eventually dropped it in form
three. I ended up doing Metalwork instead of computer science. Face palm. However,
we loved computer room class. Practical lessons. The ones who had prior
computers prowess came with these diskettes with porn. We spent all our time
watching them. Nobody bothered to learn other stuff. And that’s why I opened my
first email address in January 2007. I met the computer lesson-hating disease
again in campus. Smh.
Possibly those who were keen on
computer lessons are the modern day coders. I have always craved to be called
that name. Coders. It sounds like a panty dropper. A chick magnet. “Hey, I’m a
coder, mind if I had sex with you?” Most coders have blogs. They understood
what a blog is. It took me 4.5 years since opening my first email a/c to know
what the hell a blog is. Coders followed each other on twitter long before we
boarded that truck from mkzland. Coders employ themselves. If they are employed
somewhere, they still employ themselves on part time basis. They spend weekends
pitching some projects at iHub. Damn, I missed being a Coder. Anybody with an
idea where I can buy a coders wannabe t-shirt? I hope coders wish they were
accountants too (I doubt that a lot). You know, wishing you were called natb
CPA(K). Having the clout to shout it at the top of your lungs and never give a
shit coz you worked for it. Shite, I
sound hurt, jealous and bitter. Don’t worry, I overate today.
I’m trying to resist the urge to
write further about coders. Ok, the last one. There is this primary school mate
I saw in the paper the other day. He is a coder. He is not that hungry, rickety
mono is used to see getting at the end of all kinds of ridicule. He was 2
classes behind me. The paper claimed that his project won him a half a million
shillings. On top of that, he has a company which employs 5 equally minded
coders. I think you can see why I am mad about this shit. “Hey, I’m a coder, I
won a half a milli, I have a company that employs 5 people: mind if I have sex
with you?” That’s a line that can easily render you dumped by your girlfriend.
That’s why I think I have to groove with a coder. Anybody who has one of the founding
members of AkiraChix number?
Ok this post was not about coders
(again?). It was about gorging coastal delicacies in a hot afternoon and a blinking
word document. (It is such a bad idea to work at the coast btw). Then the
blinking screen made me think of the source of my computer proficiency (sarcasm
anyone?). If I was a coder (again?), I couldn’t be stuck here with numbers to
crunch. Probably I could be by the beach, chini ya mnazi, blowing the half a
million which I won, with that girlfriend of yours. So much for wishful
thinking.
Boom box playlist:
Every chance I get –
T.I
